I've been re-arranging my house, because I get tired of seeing the same old shit in the same places every day.  Anyways, I started working on my office room, looking at my sports memorabilia, and it made me start thinking back how I acquired some of it. Man, when I was a kid  I loved collecting autographs. I mean autographs personally obtained, not purchasing them. Mainly at games and sometimes thru the mail. I started realizing the impact athletes can have on kids as I was reminiscing on where this shit came from. These guys have remained some of my all-time favorites, probably largely due to my personal experiences with them. So I figured I'd write about a few of them.

Mike Schmidt- The greatest third baseman of all time. When I was about 10-11 years old  I took to sending baseball cards out to players at the their stadium's address. Real simple shit, just a short note with the card and a self addressed stamped returned envelope. I got tons of replies, and a lot of stuff never returned. The replies usually came back within a month, so after about 4 months of no answer I figured no luck with Schmidt. I mean, hell, he's a 3 time MVP, he probably gets way too much crap. But then one day I get home and there it is, an envelope from Veterans Stadium in Philadelphia. Open it up, and there's my autographed Mike Schmidt card. But I'll be damned, there's more- this guy added a personal letter. And the shit was detailed- "Dear Mike,..thanks for taking an interest in the Phillies...I was happy to sign what you sent....Sorry I wasn't prompt as I like to read each letter personally..." and so on. And it too was signed, not facsimile or stamped, but the real ink deal. A quarter century later that letter is sitting framed on my office desk.

Charles Barkley- I lived in Montgomery, Alabama for one year as a little kid. Barkley was at Auburn then, and I went to a few games and saved the programs. A few years later, he's in the NBA and I'm living in San Antonio, so I go check out a Sixers-Spurs game with my Auburn program in hand. Get there early and approach Sir Charles for an autograph while he's taking pre-game shots. He starts acting all impressed that I got an Auburn program with him on the cover. Next thing I know he's going to spots on the court- at the elbow, the low post, behind the arc- and passing the ball to me for me to set him up. That was the shit for a little kid, I'll always love Chuck.

Bob Feller- Yeah, pretty crazy- a HOFer from the 30s and 40s. There was this little sports card shop I used to go to in San Antonio, and one day the owner tells me he's gonna have Feller in the store in a couple weeks signing autographs. He tells me to come over before they open, so I can talk to Feller. So I did, and sure enough it's just me and the owner and fuckin' Bob Feller shootin' the shit about old time baseball for about an hour. There was a donut shop next door, I got Rapid Robert some coffee. Still have that autographed baseball on my book shelf.

Chet Lemon- Lemon was a hard-nosed cat that was usually in the league leaders in hit-by-pitch and running into the wall. He was usually good for 20 homers and an .800 or so OPS. Not a star, but a really solid player. One year my dad took me to Spring Training down in Florida, and we made the rounds. So I'm at a Detroit game and here comes Lemon towards the dugout. Lots of calls of  "Hey Lemon" or "Hey Chet". By then I'd learned that using "Mr." really helped. Sure enough he's ignoring everyone, but hears "Mr. Lemon" and looks at me and says, "I gotta go shag some flies, I'll get you when I'm done".  So I wait, and when he's finished he runs back into the dugout, seemingly ignoring me. But a few seconds later, he pops out with a baseball. A fuckin' real major league baseball, and signs it for me. Then he goes back in the dugout without signing for anybody else. Me and Chet, lifetime bros. It's sitting on my bookshelf.

Al Oliver- My favorite athlete of all time, probably my favorite human being of all time. I've completely frozen around someone twice in my life. One of those times was in Denton. There was this girl named Paige that I just was lightning-struck by. You know the scene in the Godfather when Michael sees Apollonia? That was me with Paige. One nite I'm at an outdoor party out in the country, one of those 'Dazed and Confused' type parties. I'm refilling at a keg, by myself, and here comes Paige batting those doe eyes with her bee-stung lips. She says, "Hi", and I say nothing. I just grab her cup and refill it. She says, "Thanks, see you later?". I say nothing. Fuck me...I met Al Oliver before a Braves-Expos game one day, and did the same thing for much different reasons. Man, I just couldn't speak around Scoop. The best...Paige and AO, my silencers.

Man, there's so many more...Dominique Wilkins is the nicest superstar, Stan Musial-I met Stan the Man, Ruben Sierra signing a foul ball I caught off the bat of Jose Canseco...I met the Mick, the Mantle autographed ball is probably up there with the aforementioned...and so on and so on... It's kinda fun being a kid.